


Rest

by chartreuseblueandyellow



Category: The Blacklist (US TV)
Genre: F/M, also, is anyone surprised by the title??, the morning after, we all knew this fic was coming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:41:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29166606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chartreuseblueandyellow/pseuds/chartreuseblueandyellow
Summary: Liz slowly woke up, not being able to help her smile as she realised she was nestled in the arms of Ressler, her back pressed firmly against his chest and his face pressed into her shoulder.
Relationships: Elizabeth Keen/Donald Ressler
Comments: 12
Kudos: 57





	Rest

Liz slowly woke up, not being able to help her smile as she realised she was nestled in the arms of Ressler, her back pressed firmly against his chest and his face pressed into her shoulder.  
It had been the best sleep she'd had in a while and she was feeling pretty well rested, which slightly surprising given that they actually _hadn't_ gotten much sleep last night.  
Her grin only grew, still not quite believing that that had happened. 

She hadn't expected it when she'd showed up in his front door last night. She honestly wasn't even fully aware of her actions until she'd knocked on the door, but honestly, that hadn't been too surprising.  
He really was her island of calm and she knew, without a doubt, that she'd be able to get some rest and peace with Ressler.  
Out of the blue, she suddenly wondered if it was weird that, after this change in their relationship, she still called him by his last name, but she quickly shook it off.  
She'd been calling him that for almost a decade now and it just felt… strange, to call him anything else. 

Focusing back on the feeling of being surrounded by his warm body, his steady breaths lulling her into peace, Liz’s heart had never felt more full.  
But, in this situation, that wasn’t the best thing.  
It complicated things a _lot_ more than they needed to be, and considering the amount of shit she was already in, that was saying a lot. These feelings which she’d tried to bury, but only grew stronger after the kiss and last night, made it so much harder for her to go on the run, especially because she knew what she was leaving behind, what she was sacrificing. 

And on top of that, she knew that _this_ was going to make it so much harder for Ressler, because no matter what he acted like, she knew he had a soft, deeply caring heart, and she didn’t want to force him to choose between her or doing the right thing.  
And suddenly, she was seriously second guessing her plan.  
But she forced herself not to go down that road.  
Who was she if she didn’t stand by her convictions? And Red had gotten away with _way_ too much, and it was about time that he faced some consequences for his actions. 

Liz knew she had to get up before she convinced herself to stay, and knowing from the few times that Ressler had fallen asleep in the office that he was a deep sleeper, she gently lifted his heavy arm from around her waist and got out of the bed, ignoring the overwhelming voice in her head telling her to stay.  
She knew it’d be much easier for the both of them if she quickly snuck away right now, before he woke up, but she couldn’t help but take her time to get dressed, not being able to bring herself to rush to get out. 

Almost fully dressed now and worried that she might actually be ready before he woke up, the rustling of the sheets and his voice breaking the silence calmed her slightly.  
“You know how this ends.” 

Liz knew she had to leave, but could anyone blame her for wanting to soak in this moment before she did?  
Wanting the moment to last for as long as it could, she refused to acknowledge what he’d said, and instead said, “I can't find my sock.” 

Trying to hone in his point, like her, he ignored what she said and continued.  
“We're gonna try and stop you.”

Two could play at this game, and sitting on his bed, she said, “it’s purple with little unicorns on it. Agnes thinks unicorns are good luck.”  
And honestly, after last night, she definitely believed that. 

Finally acknowledging what she was saying, Ressler asked, slightly incredulous, “unicorn socks to protect against Reddington?” 

And though she knew they should put distance between them so it'd be easier to leave, she couldn't help but shuffle closer to him on the bed.  
“You got any better ideas?”

Ressler looked her in the eye, his genuine concern not only for her physical safety, but her sanity as well, shining through, and in a soft voice, said, “yeah, don’t go after him.”

Her chest tightened.  
Ressler would never plead or beg for her to stay, he would let her do what she thought was best for her and for Agnes, but _god_ if his soft, genuine concern wasn’t asking her to stay here, with him, and she just knew he’d move heaven and earth to help her take Reddington down through all the legal channels.  
His constant support and friendship, no matter what she was doing, meant more to her then she could _ever_ say, and Liz knew, without a doubt, that she loved this man.  
But it was _because_ she loved him, that she couldn’t force him to go down that path and do all of that for her. 

He suddenly started rifling under the covers, taking her out of her thoughts, and when he pulled out her missing sock, she couldn’t help but smile. But instead of taking it, she held onto his hand.  
"Thanks for letting me stay."

He only smiled sadly in response, and knowing that she was the reason behind it, more specifically what she was about to do, hurt her, but she knew she couldn’t do anything about it.  
Squeezing his hand, she took her sock and put it on as he got out of bed and put on some sweatpants.  
She turned around to face him, and it looked like he was trying to find the right words to say something, but all he got out was, “breakfast?”

Liz hesitated, knowing that it would hurt more the longer they dragged this out, but at her hesitation he only lifted an eyebrow and asked, “what, fugitives don't eat breakfast?”

She reluctantly smiled.  
“I guess I wouldn’t say no to some scrambled eggs.”  
He rolled his eyes but smiled and they made their way to his kitchen. She put the coffee on and the bread in the toaster as he started making the eggs. After close to a decade of being partners, they were truly comfortable being in silence together, but today, there was another layer to it. 

Though it was hidden well, there was a pulsing undercurrent of worry and unease, both of not knowing what the day ahead would bring but somehow also knowing that this was going to be the calmest moment they'd have, maybe not only today, but for weeks, and that, as soon as she left his apartment, they'd be on opposite sides of the law. 

And though that was all true, Liz wanted to enjoy this moment without all of that looming in her mind, so she shook her head clear, and she walked over to Ressler by the stove as she waited for the coffee to be done.  
Guilt filled her again as her eyes landed on the bandages covering his torso, and she gently brushed her hand over the one by his shoulder. As he turned his head towards her, she pressed a light kiss against the spot and whispered, “I’m so, _so_ sorry Ress.”

He shrugged, as if saying you can’t change the past, and after pressing a light kiss to the top of her head and turning back to the eggs, he said, “I’ll heal.”  
She looped an arm through his, carefully resting her head against his shoulder as he cooked the eggs, only moving from his side once the toast and coffee was done.  
Ressler served up the plates, and with it in hand, asked, "table or couch?"

"Couch."  
She wanted to soak in being near him while she could and she could sit much closer to him on the couch than she could if they sat on the table.  
He nodded and they walked over.  
Placing their plates and cups onto the table, Ressler sat down and folding her legs under her, Liz sat leaning against him. It definitely wasn’t a practical way to eat, but no way was she moving.  
They ate in silence, after all, what was there to say at this point? 

She finished her toast and her coffee, refusing to let her mind wonder what would happen during the rest of the day. Instead she focused on the feel of Ressler against her, allowing his touch to ground her in the moment.  
Holding her empty cup in her hands while he finished his, Liz knew that there were no words that could accurately describe what she was feeling, but suddenly she felt like she had to say something.  
"I…" Ressler turned to her, and clearing her throat while trying to find the right words, she said, "I know sorry isn't enough, and it doesn't even _begin_ to cover everything, but I… I really am sorry Ress." 

She appreciated that he didn’t try to coddle her as she struggled to get her words out. His presence itself was comforting and he silently took in her words before he said anything.  
"I get why you're doing all this Liz, I do, but why don’t you let me help you, think of a better way?”

Liz's heart broke because she _knew_ that he actually meant it, and she sadly chuckled.  
"Don't you think I haven't tried? Apart from constantly trying to ask him, or even Dembe, anyone who's tried to tell me what he refuses to tell me himself gets killed, I put him in _prison_ and that didn't work, and I went to Cooper who only tried to justify Reddington killing my mother!" 

When he didn’t reply, thinking over her words, she sighed.  
"I've tried Ress, you know I've tried."

He sadly smiled and linked his free hand with hers.  
"I know you have Liz. But that doesn't make this situation any less easier to deal with and accept."

"I know."

He squeezed her hand then got up, collecting the used things and walking to the kitchen, put their plates, cups, and cutlery into the sink.  
As Ressler reached for the soap, she said, “here, let me do them. It’s only fair after you cooked.”

“It’s okay, I’ll do them," and chuckling slightly sadly, he added, "I’m sure you have a lot to do today, and considering my work day only starts once you start doing stuff, I’m in no rush.”  
Her heart shattered slightly at the reluctant acceptance in his tone, and that she was forcing him to chase her down again, but there was nothing she could say in response so she wordlessly nodded. 

It was time for her to go. 

Her chest tightened at the realisation and the voice in her head told her not to, but she ignored it all and forced herself to say goodbye.  
But she found that she couldn’t.  
It felt too… final.  
Knowing that words would fail her, she stepped forward, until she was practically against him, and reached out to cup his face.  
He let go of the soap, instead resting his hands against her back, and she gently kissed him, still holding his face in her hands, hoping it could convey all the words she hadn’t said. And as he kissed her back just as gently and as softly, she knew he understood.

Reluctantly, she finally pulled away, but not wanting to move away from him in this moment, she rested her forehead against his.  
Whispering against his lips, she softly said, "thank you… for everything."

He let out a gentle sigh against her, his breath fluttering against her mouth, and she could tell he was searching for the right thing to say as he reached up to wrap his hands around hers.  
There were a few moments of silence, but in the end, all he said was, "stay safe out there."

She nodded against him.  
“You too Ress.”

They stayed like that for a few more beats before Liz pressed a quick kiss against his lips and reluctantly pulled her hands away.  
She walked to the door, opened it and stepped out without looking back, knowing that if she did, there was a high chance she'd give in to him and end up staying, and with the need of retribution against Reddington, she just couldn't have that.


End file.
